Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans
by Cherry Bear
Summary: He loves her for so many reasons: one for every flavor of those Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. Chapter Fifteen: mud.
1. strawberry

**A/N:**** The first twelve chapters of this are posted on UnknowableRoom, but I decided I might as well post them on here so that I can write other fandoms as well.I I'm too lazy to edit all the author notes so I'll just leave them as is. This is basically the answer to the question "Why does James love Lily?" The flavors aren't going to go in any particular order, and some of them don't even relate to their little drabble except very very loosely. If you have any flavors you would specifically like to see, let me know. **

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

one: strawberry

He loves her because she wears little red heart stickers on Valentine's Day.

He knows this is rather silly, but he watches her stick them right next to her eyelids and he is entranced. She smiles and giggles when she realizes one of the hearts is sideways and the other one is higher up than it should be. She doesn't fix them.

The stickers are cheap and glittery and childish, and her best mate hands them out to anyone in their common room who will wear them, so that by lunchtime, everybody is wearing them. He doesn't care, because she wears them better than anybody else does.

He wants to walk up to her and brush one finger against the sparkling heart, and watch her face flood with a million shades of a strawberry. He wants to tell her that he thinks she wears them better than anybody else in their school. He wants her to know that she is better than all the other students, better than him, because she wears her stickers with pride and she doesn't care that people giggle at her. She doesn't care that they don't match right or that they clash horribly with her red hair.

She doesn't care because she is Lily Evans, and she doesn't care what people think and he loves her for it.


	2. vomit

**A/N: ****Thank you all very much! I think there's a little bit of delusional and insecure James in here. I hope you enjoy!**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

two: vomit

He loves her because she hates getting sick.

In a somewhat twisted way, he likes it when she's sick. Even though he hates seeing her lying exhausted and nauseous in her bed, her hair tangled and her face warped with displeasure, there is still something absolutely fulfilling about her needing help. The idea that hehas to help herengulfs him in complete satisfaction; a satisfaction he's never felt before, not even after a particularly good Honeydukes bar or a victorious Quidditch game.

He thinks, somewhere in the back of his mind, that it is because Lily is never weak, that she hates being weak. She has always been independent, her own savior, never the damsel-in-distress. She has never really needed him before, not in the helpless sort of way that he needs her anyway.

And when he holds her hair back from the speckles of vomit or brings her another glass of water, it occurs to him that, for once, hegets to _really_ take care of her.

He only does it because she's Lily Evans, and she needs him almost as much as he needs her and he loves her for it.


	3. ink

**A/N: ****Thank you guys so much!****I raped the semi-colon in this chapter, just a bit. The idea is a little far-fetched and my trains of thought are wacky sometimes, but just try and live through it? **

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

three: ink

He loves her because she writes him little notes.

They never say anything particularly significant and he never sees her writing them, but he knows she writes them without the proof. It's not the scraps of parchment they're on or the ink they're written with, it's simply the way she writes; he'd know it anywhere.

She curls her _g _and loops her _y_ and dots her _i _with a small circle and sometimes he feels, ridiculously enough, as though that writing is all there really is in the world. Sometimes he feels as though that writing is all over him, inside and outside, and he could never get it off, but he never wants to because he _enjoys _knowing the ink is there on his skin and on his heart and he wants people to see it there like he feels it there.

He knows that if he tried to explain these feelings to her, she would laugh and smile and shake her head at his strange thoughts, like she always does when he has them. He knows that she'll never accept his ideas; he knows that she'll never entirely dismiss them, and, for now, that is enough to satisfy him.

In the back of his mind, he knows that she feels the ink too.

He knows because she is Lily Evans, and he is always with her as she is always with him, even when they're apart, and he loves her for it.


	4. peach

**A/N: ****I feel like I should give sort of explanation for this chapter; James knows that Lily could kill him, not physically, but emotionally, and I think he loves her for not. I'm a little scared that that's unclear in the chapter, so let me know what you think, alright? Thanks you guys :)**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

four: peach

He loves her because she bruises easily.

She has so many spots adorning her skin that, sometimes, it worries him. They range in color and size: a purple one on her foot where she bumped against her trunk, a bronze one on her elbow where she knocked it into the desk.

Sometimes he thinks these are just excuses and that she's hiding something, something big from him; then he sees her thigh clank against the couch and he realizes just how easily she bruises, like a peach.

On some days, he thinks, rather morbidly, that it would be so easy for someone to hurt her. They could lift her up in one hand and simply crush her entire body; he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

It sickens him to think that, if he wasn't careful, he could hurt her like that too.

He doesn't because she's Lily Evans and she can hurt him so much more than he could ever hurt her, and he hates her for it but more than that, much more than that, he loves her for it.


	5. caramel

**A/N:**** This chapter is actually dedicated Zoya for her flavor suggestion; it gave me this idea. I think Lily offers a different perspective to James that affects him a lot, and I hope my meaning isn't too misunderstood in this. Thank you all for your encouraging reviews.**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

five: caramel

He loves her because she tastes like caramel.

When he kisses her for the first time, and she is all stumbles and helpless gasps and green eyes dancing, she tastes like caramel and the irony does not escape him; he has always hated caramel.

He is afraid of sounding so terribly cliché but, Merlin, in her mouth it doesn't taste much like what he's ever encountered at Honeydukes. And he knows his mates will think him utterly ridiculous, but afterwards, when she has gone for a bit and that taste is all there is for him, he doesn't mind caramel so much anymore.

It is not the first or the biggest thing she has changed about him.

It amazes and frightens him that she can hold so much control over him, and he wants to run away from it but he knows he can't; he knows he _won't_ stay away from her for that long.

He won't because she's Lily Evans, and sometimes she makes him see things a little differently and sometimes she changes things about him without really trying and he loves her for it.


	6. cheese

**A/N:**** I've got a bunch of good ideas but for some reason when I put them into words they just seem like utter crap, so I'm going with this one that just came to me out of of no where. If you've got any good flavor suggestions, please feel free to offer them up.**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

six: cheese

He loves her because she smiles.

She smiles often, and her big cheesy grin stretches across her face and lights up the room. Her mouth opens and her teeth show and her eyes twinkle just a little too brightly.

He has never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

Everytime her lips start turning up at the corners, and her cheeks turn that unique shade of maroon, he feels something in his chest. It clutches at his heart and it hurts but it feels good and he wants to make her smile and laugh all her life, just because it gives him that feeling.

And when that smile starts to vanish, when there are only broken shards of her laughter left in the world, he does not think he can ever be truly happy again.

He tries to be because she's Lily Evans and she needs his happiness like he needs her happiness, but neither of them are really happy; so they play their ridiculous game of pretend together and, even if it could be the death of him, he loves her for it.


	7. pumpkin

**A/N****: I was originally intending to release this a day or so before Halloween, but I wasn't sure I'd have time, so this will have to be a week early; it's a little longer than most chapters, too. And I know all guys supposedly like mysterious girls or whatever, but adios to that garbage, because I think, in the long run, they'd appreciate a little predictability. Happy Halloween! **

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

seven: pumpkin

He loves her because she's familiar.

If he closes his eyes, he can see the whale-shaped birthmark on her upper thigh, the pattern of freckles scattered across her arms, and her face as she falls asleep, frozen in an expression of peace. He has memorized everything about her.

Whenever her bottom lips starts to quiver in that devastating way, he can tell that she's on the verge of tears. Whenever that mysterious glint shines in her eyes – the one he sees so often – he feels her pure, naked fear sparking to life, and, Merlin, it burns him.

Sometimes, he knows her better than he knows himself.

And maybe it's not the best analogy or the most flattering, but he thinks that she's like a pumpkin at the Halloween feast, with a candle that flickers so brightly that everyone is compelled to stare; if there were no pumpkins, how would they know it was Halloween? And he knows this thought is ridiculous, somewhere in his mind, but he also knows that Halloween is not really Halloween without pumpkins.

And he doesn't think life is really life without her, because she's like his home.

He doesn't try to escape it because she's Lily Evans, and maybe he should want excitement and mystery and unknown things in her but he doesn't; he just wants her passion and her laughter and her bright green eyes to stay familiar to him because sometimes she's everything he knows in the world and he loves her for it.


	8. lemon

**A/N:**** Thank you all very much for your reviews! This flavor is another suggested by Zoya (see, you guys should make some suggestions because I do use them). I hope all of you had a nice Halloween! **

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

eight: lemon

He loves her because she can hate him.

Their relationship is not about the chase – it never really was. It was about the anger that flashed in her every word, every action, every whirl of crimson through the air when he was near; it was about the way her face twisted into that indescribable expression whenever she felt that intense hatred towards him.

It was about her ability to see his flaws, her courage in exhibiting them; maybe it still is.

She is nothing like the other girls – their significance vanished when they did. She is like lemon: sour and real and not always pleasant and, above all, absolutely impossible to erase.

He revels in those qualities because she's Lily Evans and she can see that he's not perfection and she can tear him out of the spotlight when she thinks he doesn't deserve it and she may be the only one who really can and he loves her for it.


	9. popcorn

**A/N: Things have been hectic recently, and all of the suggestions I've gotten have been fabulous; I just haven't thought up anything good for them yet. Be thankful that this is not a turkey chapter, because I really did try to write one and it turned out absolute horrible. Happy Early Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it!**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

nine: popcorn

He loves her because she believes in happy endings.

On his first venture into the Muggle world with her, she persuades him to go to a movie theater. He doesn't understand why Muggles waste their time and pay money to see moving pictures when wizards get to see them for free all the time; all he knows is that the chairs are uncomfortably hard and the two guys next to them talk in obnoxiously loud voices the entire time and the whole theater smells of stale popcorn and she loves every moment of it.

He doesn't get it at first.

He entertains himself with the idea that the emotions lighting up her face are because she is finally with him; that she, like him, recognizes this important milestone in both their lives. But then, and maybe it breaks another piece of his ego apart, he really gets it; he gets that, for once, this isn't about him.

He sees the expression in her eyes, and he sees what he saw in her at their first lesson in Hogwarts: greed, envy, and a stubborn desire to achieve greatness. She wanted to learn magic, to excel at it, if only to prove to everyone else that being Muggleborn meant absolutely nothing. And gazing hungrily at the moving pictures who were finally gaining their happiness, she wanted hers too.

He knows the unlikeliness of this happening for either of them, and he knows it would break her heart to hear it.

So he doesn't say anything, because she's Lily Evans and her desperate optimistic belief that they'll get a happy ending keeps him going some days and he loves her for it.


	10. peppermint

**A/N: ****This is sort of an early Christmas chapter because I'm not going to be coming on as much anymore, especially during this family season. It's the most wonderful time of the year, and all that. I know this chapter is rather short but I felt like stretching the idea too much would only ruin it.**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

ten: peppermint

He loves her because she is horrible at wrapping presents.

When their first Christmas together arrives, she hands him a curious-shaped package with sparkly peppermint-adorned wrapping paper and crinkly edges; meanwhile, his present to her is perfectly wrapped with neat corners and an elegant ribbon, courtesy of magic.

Truthfully, he does not really care that her present is wrapped awful; the mere idea that she, of all people, is buying him a present for Christmas and wrapping it manually still astonishes him. What astonishes him more is the realization that she is not perfect – something he never bothered to acknowledge before. That she should be the flawed one now seems completely foreign, especially when he has always glued her to a pedestal.

He embraces her flaws because she's Lily Evans, and she is only human and perfect imperfection and crinkly edges and knowing that makes her seem even more precious and he loves her for it.


	11. grass

**A/N:**** This is dedicated to Madelynn (who requested this a loooong time ago) and Anonymous who also requested it more recently. I wish you all a very happy holiday, even if mine is not so. I hope it's everything you want it to be.**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

eleven: grass

He loves her because she makes him feel like he matters.

People have always thought him to be extremely proud; he does not deny it. He is never entirely sure why he acts as though the world revolves around him, especially when he sometimes feels as though he's nothing to the world. Especially when he sometimes feels as though he is as insignificant as a tiny blade of grass in a field of flowers.

Remus applauds him for creating a metaphor that actually makes sense for once, Sirius laughs and buys him another Butterbeer, and Peter knows exactly how he feels. And then Lily looks at him and her eyes sparkle and she smiles that brilliant smile that she saves just for him and he knows his negative thoughts cannot be true.

He knows because she's Lily Evans and that she should see something valuable in him and love him for it makes him feel like he matters; it makes him feel like whatever God is up there looking after him must think that he is important and special and somehow deserving of such an amazing person and he loves her for agreeing with that God.


	12. chocolate

**A/N:**** I got a sudden burst of inspiration and edited some chapters, including the controversial pumpkin one. Then I just couldn't stop writing so I decided to actually update. Requested by marauder_maidens, I think, although I don't know if anyone even still cares enough to read. Enjoy if you do!**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

twelve: chocolate

He loves her because she's so bloody nice.

He remembers third year, when Peter took a fancy to Mary MacDonald. Even though Mary seemed completely revolted by him, Peter desperately hoped that she would give him a Valentine's Day present.

She didn't. Instead, Peter found a box of his favorite Honeydukes chocolates on his bed from Mary's best friend, Lily. She had tacked a small piece of parchment to it that read:

'_Sugar quills are pink_

_Dumbledore's hat is blue_

_Chocolate is sweet_

_And so are you_'

He remembers the smile that lit up Peter's face when he found the box, and his obvious pride when he told them that he had a Valentine. He remembers how much Peter fancied her after that, and how gently she turned him down.

He knows that she has always been nice.

And he knows that she always will be, because she's Lily Evans, and she cares so bloody much about everyone, even if they don't care about her, and he loves her for it.


	13. butterbeer

**A/N:**** Happy independence day to all the Americans!**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

thirteen: butterbeer

He loves her because she can completely deflate his ego.

The first time he asks her out is third year, during the first Hogsmeade trip. He's sauntering down the streets with his mates, carrying bagfuls of Zonko's merchandise and feeling like he's on top of the world.

Then, he sees that familiar flash of red hair down the road and his palms start to itch and his thoughts start to muddle and his tongue starts to go numb and he knows he has to say something soon before he's too much of a mess to even smile at her so he says the first utterly prattish thing that comes to mind.

"Get a butterbeer with me, Evans!" Except, it's more of a demand then a question and she doesn't like that very much and suddenly he's walking down the street with his mates feeling like he just got ran over by a hippogriff, when it was really only Lily Evans and her devastating rejection.

That day, he wallows in his embarrassment and self-pity and declares it to be the worst day of his life. He is wrong, because there are many days after that when he sees her and his insides turn to mush and all he can say is "Get a butterbeer with me, Evans!" and all he can hear is her continual rejection and all he can think is that maybe he is not the greatest bloke in the world anymore.

He hates that she was the person to make him realize his flaws but at the same time he loves it because she's Lily Evans and she can make him feel like worthless scum one day and king of the world the next and the amount of control she holds over him is frightening but at the same time it's devastatingly amazing and he loves her for it.


	14. iron

**A/N:**** I have no idea where this came from. I don't know if anyone requested this but I'm positive that an iron jellybean would taste positively disgusting (or maybe you're into that kind of metallic-y flavor). Enjoy?**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

fourteen: iron

He loves her because she stands by what – or, rather, whom – she believes in.

He can still distinctly remember the first day he talked to her – mostly, the obnoxiously loyal way she had fled his Hogwarts Express compartment without a backwards glance as soon as he and Sirius insulted Snape.

She doesn't talk about her Snape days very much; he doesn't like to talk about them either, partially because he can't stand remembering that Snape will always have known her first and for the longest and partially because he knows how difficult they were for her. For five years, she slept in the same tower, ate at the same table, and took all the same classes as the Gryffindors, and for those five years she endured endless torture, criticism, and blatant dislike because her best mate was a Slytherin – but not once did she try to change that fact.

Not once did she publicly break into tears and start hexing everyone who picked on her, not once did she reconsider her friendship with the slimy git, not once did she even (to his knowledge) entertain the notion that Severus Snape wasn't worth it.

When he mulls over this, he can't help but think that, Merlin, she has more loyalty than the average Hufflepuff and more courage than the entire Gryffindor house combined – not to mention an unbelievably iron opinion about certain people.

Still, he can't help but rejoice when the iron finally shatters from the faults that were five years in the making.

And even though her seemingly incontrovertible opinion about him takes a year longer than Snape's did to change, he knows she's entirely worth it because she's Lily Evans and she stands by her mates even when they do something wrong and she sees the good in people even when they don't quite see it themselves and she takes six years to break and he loves her for it.


	15. mud

**A/N****: Too lazy to scan my reviews to see if anyone requested this. This is dedicated to the fact that it is not raining in California right now.**

**Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans**

fifteen: mud

He loves her because she dances in the rain.

Herbology is over and they are walking back to the castle, but the storm cloud behind them is moving quicker and all of a sudden it is pouring harder than it ever has before. Hastening to be a "gentleman", he takes off his cloak and attempts to hold it over her head.

She swats it away, abruptly grabs his hand, and pulls him away from the mob of students rushing towards the castle and right into the cold rain. His cloak falls into the mud forgotten as he grabs her other hand, and then they're dancing, a clumsy sort of waltz that leaves them breathless with laughter.

They're dancing and it's raining and they're soaking wet and it's raining and suddenly her foot slips and they're both lying on the ground; there's mud in her hair and on her nose and on her cheeks but she doesn't care and neither does he and all of a sudden they are kissing each other roughly and it tastes like wet dog and muddy shoes and they only pause to laugh more.

And maybe it isn't very romantic, but he bloody loves it anyway, because she's Lily Evans and she takes what life gives her and makes the best of it, because she refuses his cloak and dances in the rain and falls in the mud and laughs the entire time and he loves her for it.


End file.
